A prosperous and evil Samhain to one and all... I am calling it a day right now, having lots and lots of preparations still to be done for tonight's events... Enjoy!!!!!

Every man and every woman is a star....

These pictures are absolutely stunning examples of how beautiful and awesome geology can be... I'm going to be ordering some to grace my office and home...

Now, these are really scary masks... Not for the faint of heart...

Samhain approaches rapidly... For those interested, I will be officiating this year, and I will be using a live altar. Blessed Beast!

It has been 5 years since last I stood at the front of a congregation for Samhain... I had missed it greatly...

Good thing he didn't want a blowjob...

Damn... For the life of me, I can't remember what the name of this song is... Someone help me???

Nice and new theory on Jack the Ripper... Totally wrong, but at least it's new...

This is really apt... The terrorists apparently killed only 2 of the hostages... The Russian authorities killed the rest, more than a hundred... LOL

Oh, wow.... click me

Hilarious... STD Comments List...

Mideast Mystery??? Now I understand...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now . . No beer, No booze, No bars, No television, No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No basketball, No hockey, No golf, No tailgate parties, No Hooters, No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks. Rags for clothes and towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower. No chocolate chip cookies, No Christmas.

You can't shave, Your wife can't shave, You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. But your donkey has a better disposition. Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

No mystery here.

Every time I think I've now seen everything, I am proven wrong... Get a look at this costume, sold out, no less...

Can I sign up even if I'm not in the UK? Where do I go and pick up my assigned partner, at the British Embassy here????

From CNN: At a midnight news conference Wednesday, Moose delivered another message to the sniper, urging him to contact police.

"Our inability to talk has been a concern for us as it has been for you," Moose said. "You have indicated that you want us to do and say certain things. You asked us to say, 'We have caught the sniper like a duck in a noose.' We understand that hearing us say this is important to you.

"However, we want you to know how difficult it has been to understand what you want because you have chosen to use only notes, indirect messages, and calls to other jurisdictions."

My take on all this is that Supersniper is making calls to other jurisdictions because he has come to the conclusion that Chief Moose is a total imbecile. I know that I came to that conclusion, after listening to Moose's interventions on TV these past weeks.

I just wanted to (belatedly) thank everyone who attended my barbecue this past weekend. I hope you all had a lot of fun and I will certainly be planning a similar event in the near future...

One last thing, though... Whoever forgot to take their girlfriend/wife/escort/lover/friend/whatever with them when they left, could you please stop by and pick her up? My neighbors are complaining.

Time to feed one of my pet...peeves... LOL One of the greatest problems plaguing the United States is the bleeding hearts' whining for leniency and non-accountability in all arenas. Here we have a lot of whining over whether someone should or should not be executed if the crime (heinous, I might add, even by my standards) they committed ocurred when they were 17 years old. We need to go back to a simpler time when if you committed a crime and were stupid enough to get caught, you were punished for it. We need to start punishing more effectively for minor crimes and offenses as was done centuries ago. Jail is not a deterrent, it's more like Crime University. Punishment should be swift and harsh enough to make offenders think twice before trying it again. There are a hell of a lot of repeat offenders who received slaps on the wrist all the time until they finally did something so brutal that they earned themselves a life without parole or a death sentence. Well of course I'm going to keep on committing crimes, each more daring and brutal than the last if each time I'm caught I get to walk off unscathed after a short period of time. A period of time in which I receive further criminal instruction from some of best SMEs (Subject Matter Experts for you non-corporate folks) the country has to offer.

Go back a hundred or more years and you'll find effective punishment that is today deemed cruel and unusual. So who came up with this totally moronic theory that punishment shouldn't be cruel and unusual? Punishment's purpose is to serve as a deterrent. A good whipping probably turned many a man unto the straight and narrow. A public execution or two, besides serving as fine sport, probably remained embedded in many a young child's mind, there to serve him in good stead at such a time in the future when he felt tempted to break the law.

And the same may be said as to how people are raising their children. All this stupidity about not using corporal punishment. I am not advocating anything similar to what that stupid woman did to her daughter on tape a while back, but a good beating when the child is still capable of being molded is far better than waiting until he's 18 and then executing him for breaking the law. Children are irrational creatures. It is the parents' duty to instill in them the mores that they will use throughout their lives. Being irrational, the swifest training method is pain. Whose fault is it if a child who has never been effectively punished, neither by his parents nor by the justice system, reaches adulthood thinking that crime does pay? It most definitely has paid, up to then, by that person's experience! As Heinlein said, and I paraphrase, 'What would you say if I get a puppy, and each time it pees on the carpet I sit it down and explain, in a reasonable tone, how bad an action that was? And then, when the puppy becomes a dog and still pees on the carpet I then kill it for refusing to obey?'

But the prevailing opinion today, here in the United States, is that a criminal is a victim, the Gods alone understand the reasoning behind what these people preach.

For the first time in centuries, I am actually, literally, living next door to a cemetary. This Samhain should prove interesting, to say the least.

There's a particularly nasty hairpin curve a mile before I hit my exit, going home. When I first moved in, a couple of months ago, I would slow down right before it, take it at 50 mph, tops, and then vroom back up to my usual 85 mph stride. As the days went by, I started taking that curve a little bit faster every time. Nowadays, I don't even think of slowing down, unless there's some slowpoke ahead of me, and I can take the curve blindfolded if I had to.

Last night I was being tailgated for the final 5 or so miles by a moron in one of those little racy sorts of cars, so instead of being in the 80s, I was doing at least 90, and the road before that curve is pretty straight, so it wasn't a big deal. I wish I'd had a camera to preserve the look of abject terror I saw on the idiot's face when I looked into my rearview mirror. You could see the beads of sweat appearing on his forehead, his eyes bugging out, a little bit of drool starting to trickle and I'm sure he was whimpering. He managed to brake, of course, but he was already into the first curve in the series. He tore up one of his fenders pretty bad, and it looked like a brand new car, too... LOL

I understand the concept of broad daylight, but I'm a little bit confused as to what narrow daylight might be... Has anything ever happened in narrow daylight? You never hear about that...

Sometimes I miss Colombia.... LMAO

A frigging bus, no less, has crashed into the Colombian equivalent of the White House (2 dead, 23 injured):

In today's headlines...

Don't worry, guy, we'll appeal!!!

John Paul II, visibly confused, rejected the U.S. Bishops' Sexual Abuse Policy because it deals with prevention of sexual abuse instead of what the Pope expected, a Sexual Abuse for Dummies book...

Bush's Drug Policy... 'nuff said...

Last but not least, regarding the newest superhero on the block, Supersniper, a friend told me last night that according to the news, someone had identified our hero as a person of Middle Eastern aspect. My friend wondered how someone could easily differentiate between, say, a Middle Eastern man, a Sicilian and a Latino, seeing as there are lots of similarities between them. My friend is very ignorant. I explained that it is easy to tell them apart. Smell is a dead giveaway...

Thank you, Admiral! Good work! And good riddance to the bad rubbish you replaced...

Scenario: Person walks into spouse's office and finds spouse engaged in wild, animal sex with awesomely hot colleague.

Spouse's excuse? "Honey, I was just downloading this file, and we needed as much bandwidth as we could get!"

Technology? Read about it here... LOL

Well... Supersniper struck in Falls Church this time... I know someone who relocated there... She was my boss for an oh so short period... Wasn't her that got snuffed, though...

Anyway, be back in a while, I'm going to go and check who won today's Supersniper Office Pool...

And here I thought rednecks never invented anything...

I'm one thirsty son of a bitch...



Guess what I am?

Let's go fuck up another country... LMAO

Is someone running bets on where Supersniper will strike next? This is becoming so interesting... I guess comicbook heroes do exist!

If humanity were as stupid as the FDA and other assorted groups think, then we'd have died off millennia ago. I found out that my favorite snack, Conjac Coconut, has been recalled, out of fear that some submoronic nincompoop might choke.

"We clearly want to do the right thing," said Craig Wilson, Costco's assistant vice president of food safety. "But what would the public and the media want us to do if a child chokes on a hot dog? Could we take hot dogs off the shelf?"

Well Craig raises my same point. If people are too stupid to eat without choking, let them die. It's not as if we had a scarcity of people, right? I'm getting pretty tired of having my liberties curtailed to accomodate the slow, the stupid, the handicapped and other groups who lack some ability through no fault of mine. My thoughts on this, to be applied according to the situation:

- It is not my fault you are stupid and choke on a piece of food, so don't expect me to stop eating in sympathy for your plight.
- It is not my fault you are handicapped, so don't take it out on me or expect me to be overly solicitous of your needs.
- It is not my fault you're a moron, go blame your parents for their genetic contribution.
- And so on for every hangup people have and then somehow think the rest of us should feel bad about it or compensate them or limit ourselves in some way or another.

Note: The author wishes to clarify that if this post offends you, it is because he meant to.

Are Americans losing all but the most basic and rudimentary mathematical skills once they leave school, or are y'all just not being taught any math nowadays? Really. I'm curious. It's either one or the other, in order to explain the blunders I see on a daily basis.

Geezer: I am who I am...

God: No, I am who I am!!!!

Geezer: I have a court order... nyah nyah

God: Curses! Foiled again!

I will comment on this as soon as I can stop laughing!

"Delegates at an international conference against racism cheered today as they voted to expel non-blacks, saying it was too traumatic to discuss slavery in front of them."

Why is it that the people who know the least are always the most verbose?

Amusing as the article is, seeing as it refers to voting in Florida, it could very well be true...

"Geez, boss, what's the big deal? A few zeros more, a few zeros less, who cares?", said the broker... LOL

I see dead people... No, seriously... This morning. Like 5 of them. People should really drive more carefully... Yummy smell, though...

I now have, at my current rate of reading, enough books to tide me by for a couple of years. And they're all books I want to read, which is the good part. I'm thinking of renting the house next to mine and using it exclusively as a library and reading room...

For information as to why Nicholas has so many books, click here!

The voices inside my head asked me not to blog anything today, or else...

Or else what?

Exactly.