This is a case of too little, too late. It's a shame no one thought of doing this 227 years ago... Oh, wait! Someone did! And right here in the USA, too... Didn't work out as planned, although this still is the best approximation on the planet to what the Founding Fathers had in mind...

Listening to my habitual radio show this morning, the guests were a couple of guys who have published a book called Married to Mommy: A Survival Guide for Married Guys. They also have a website here. Their premise is that men marry a fun, happy, nice-to-be-around sort of chick which then pupates a couple of years down the line into a horrid fun-draining, psycho bitch from Hell. This last is what they call a mommy in their book.

Blessed Beast! I thought that sort of shit only happened to me. I had no idea this was a general phenomenon! All these years I was thinking that I either had a knack for getting involved with pychos in disguise or that I was somehow turning them that way. Why has everyone else kept this hidden from me until now? So all this time, they've all had this programmed in, like a timebomb waiting to go off? And I was blaming myself (well, not really, but it sounded nice, right?).

The authors' conclusion is that the condition is incurable. The only solution seems to be to move on or clench your teeth and outlast them. I had come to the same conclusion, myself, many long years ago.

There is an wooden implement that resembles a club, I guess you might say. Its name is a tanren bo. If the pain in the muscles on my forearm and wrist are any measure, it provides an awesome workout. I used it on Saturday and am going to look for one to buy...

I am really enjoying my bujitsu training...

This past weekend was half crappy. We had a major upgrade on the network infrastructure at one of the larger sites. The swapout of the old equipment for the new, and the configuring of all that went fairly well, and finished on time. The problems started later, mainly due to the lack of documentation that was the norm before I got here. There were at least 6 different issues as a result of the upgrade, indirectly, I mean. Some due to systems not behaving as advertised, so that they did not recover automatically from the outage, forcing us to bring them gracefully down and back up again, synchronized at both ends. I blame that on the vendors who have all become Microsoft-like in that their systems rarely, if ever, do what they're supposed to do. A couple were caused by shoddy work, loose cabling and the like. Half of them, though, were caused by crappy systems and configs put in at some point in the past, and never documented. So big surprise, you cannot adequately plan for what you don't know is out there. The client was amazingly good about the whole thing, and I say that because they often have a hard time understanding why shit happens, especially when they cause it.

I find it amusing, yet they never learn. The next time a refresh like this one is done, the same things will happen. Thankfully, I don't plan on being here that long. One of my favorite sayings is particularly apt here, "there's never time to do things right, but there always seems to be time to do them over..."

Some aspects of the music industry will always elude me. A couple of months back, as chronicled in this blog, I was fortunate enough to attend Iron Maiden's concert at Madison Square Garden (MSG, from now on). I don't have the exact price per ticket off the top of my head, but it was around 60 bucks. I would have cheerfully paid more, especially if I could have gotten better seats, but the way it was set up, near as I could tell, was a single low price, and first come, first served.

Today I received an email from a distribution list I'm on, with a password for a pre-sale on tickets for a Simon & Garfunkel concert next month at the same venue, MSG. I admit that I have just enough gayness in my otherwise macho makeup that I really enjoy Simon & Garfunkel (S&G), so I had hoped to go. The cheapest tickets cost about the same as my Iron Maiden ones did, only they're way up in the nosebleed section. The top price is a whopping 250 bucks. What the hell are they thinking? I like S&G, but they're absolutely not to be compared with Maiden. Maiden on a bad day is still head and shoulders above the best S&G have produced, even if the comparison is unfair. A pox on them for thinking they're royalty, and I'll be damned if I pay that much for seeing anyone, unless a blowjob's included.

I started my sword training yesterday, early evening. Sensei is a gaijin, but he has trained in several different schools in Asia for close to 40 years. I have never run into his particular school/clan in the past so all the moves are new. My body is stiff since I have not practiced in ages, but it comes back to one rather quickly, I found. I am happy.

As Fall starts I always feel my energies rise. It seems the Shadow I cast waxes and wanes in strict adherence to some arcane schedule tied to the seasons. Much like some archetypical god which, in a sense, I suppose I am... Fall always finds me on an upswing, as I consider Summer a hateful time. Fall heralds Winter, which is sheer bliss. This year was a good one, since Winter continued well into what should have been Spring, and Summer was mild and short, compared to other years. I need to get some fishing done soon, and I plan on doing some hunting later in the year. If I am to be a God, I choose to be one of the Harvest, and of Death...

Signed up for another freebie training here at work. This one is centered around a concept called Competetive Strategy Dynamics and will be taught by the inventor of the concept, one Kim Warren. Looks to be an interesting course, and should serve me well in the future, one way or another. And I figure, the least this company can do for me, after all it continuously fails to do, is train me gratis. With the lack of training so far, I've more or less become convinced that the 'S' in my employer's acronym stands for 'Stagnant'.

I am reading a book titled Shimmering Sword: Samurai, Western, and Star Wars Sword Fighting, by one Nick Jamilla. The premise is interesting enough, Jamilla compares the fictional Jedi style with both Western and Japanese swordfighting techniques and history. Jamilla is well-versed in the subject and is a long-time practitioner. This book would have been a great one if he had skipped the Jedi bullshit and done a comparative tome on the two historical schools of swordsmanship. The other major annoyance while reading the book is the huge number of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Whomever proofread this one deserves to be beheaded. It is definitely worth reading, despite its two flaws. Needless to say, if there's anyone out there who is a Star Wars fan and also a serious student of the way of the sword, this book is a must. I just hope Jamilla puts out a second edition and runs it through a spellchecker before sending it to the printer.

I actually have a signed copy of the book, which I picked up at the freebie cubicle* here at work. Despite the overall cesspool that this job resembles, that perk makes up for most of the grief.

For those really interested, the guy has a website called, wouldn't you know, Shimmering Sword.

* For those coming in late, and wondering why the hell I get free books, let alone free signed copies, please read this.

Such a big panic attack half the country had over this great big hurricane Isabela thing that was heading up the East Coast. The only thing I noticed was some strong winds on Friday, and even those were certainly nothing to get worked up about.

Alarmists and pussies, that's what this country's becoming...

I have been offered the honor of being inducted into a Japanese Clan... Domo Arigato, Sensei...

It was good to hold a blade in my hands again...

I think I misjudged someone. Good thing I rarely act before I get concrete proof of my suspicions when harm might ensue.

In other, unrelated, news, I was probably fired today. Then somebody jittered and decided this whole contract might self-destruct unless I babysit it through the customer's busy season, which starts soon. So I got moved into someone else's budget and hence un-fired. All those are assumptions. I was simply told I was being moved into someone else's budget. But since I have been involved in hush-hush meetings regarding a significant company-wide layoff to be announced real soon, I'm guessing I was a part of it. I had already figured I had till January, which takes us beyond the busy season, and have been hunting for something else for a while. Nice to know I'm still good at that sort of analysis.

It's been a lifetime or two since I last trained with a sword. I may have found a place to reacquaint myself with swordplay. If it works out, I will place offerings before the Shinto Gods as a sign of gratitude... Arigato!

The hardest thing about being as manager is having to approve layoffs. And working for this shitty company which performs layoffs willynilly with no regard for who's productive and who's an incompetent asshole is even worse. If they really wanted to get the company back on track, they should lay off the top two levels of management and not backfill them. A chimpanzee with a dartboard would have an equal or better track record on decision making than those idiots.

This one is hilarious... We seem to have armed these folks, set them up as a police force in Iraq and then used them for target practice... I guess stupidity is contagious, and having an infected person as your Commander-in-Chief can be enough of a vector...

That thing I mentioned a few days ago? I started execution last Friday. Started seeing effects by Tuesday. Looking good, so far. That is, people seem to be doing what I expected them to be doing at this point. I love it when a plan works out...

Happy September 11 from Uncle Adolf is what this looks like. Yeah, I see where it says it's for insurance purposes, but still. I bet this bank loses a lot of customers in the U.S. pronto...

Back in the days of yore, I was a trekkie. Yep. A Star Trek fan. I still am, too. Even though I recognize that there probably never was a worse actor than William Shatner, and never will be, I still think he epitomizes what a starship captain should be like. And that's the other thing, I never liked or got into the new Star Trek offerings, I remained a fan of the original Star Trek.

That said, I must admit to following Enterprise since its start. One reason was sheer nostalgia, since it goes back to the time when Star Fleet was only beginning to be set up, and I was interested in seeing how well they would mesh this new series with the mythos created by the original one. But the main reason I started watching it was the hot Vulcan chick. She is indubitably the hottest piece of alien ass on TV right now, bar none.



Seeing her tits on last night's season premiere was a tasty treat. Unfortunately, I also recognize what it means. The only reason the network would have indulged in giving us a peek at her peaks is because ratings must be minimal to nonexistent. It'll be a shame to see the show cancelled.

I had the rare privilege and honor of being in a meeting where a single person uttered the following two gems:

1. We need to make it more user-friendly to the users.
2. Let me tell you about the current projects we are working on right now.

Native English speaker, too...

I know there are at least 2 time travellers currently stranded in this time-space nexus. If either one or the other of you are still hunting down spare parts in order to return to civilization, here's a company that might be able to assist.

Anyone else reading this, please ignore. There's nothing happening here, folks, move on...

For the past 5 years I've been meaning to go to Burning Man. This year was out of the question. Next year I will by all the Gods make it. Having almost a full year to plan it out will probably make it hassle-free, too... So, this is the most advance warning for any necro-sighting ever. Caveat sicarius...

Last night I opened one of the local bottles of wine I've mentioned in recent posts, made sure I had something tasty to snack on between sips, and channel-surfed down to HBO to see if there was anything good on. HBO was premiering And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself and I decided I'd give it a try.

Not a bad movie, overall. More or less true to history, which is rare in that type of film, too. Now, I generally like Banderas' acting, except when he prostitutes himself doing something really cheesy and blatantly commercial ::cough::spykids::cough:: and in this case he gave a great performance in a reasonably good movie. Still, I had to wonder... Was there not a single actor of Mexican descent available for the job? Why in hell would you want a Spaniard playing a Mexican national hero? Using Banderas as Villa is, more or less, like casting Carroll O'Connor as Kunta Kinte in Roots. Well, maybe not that bad, but still, Spaniards and Mexicans are very different types... One would think the Mexicans would be offended. Not that HBO would give a rat's ass... And not that I care, myself, I'm just pointing it out... Me, I'd like to play Pablo Escobar if they did a movie on him, and if I were an actor...

Rumsfeld in a press conference from Iraq yesterday morning. Fielding questions from the audience. Someone asks him something. He points at his headset and whines, "no one's translating". Aide tells him, "Sir, the question was in English".

I could clearly visualize Jon Stewart of the Daily Show watching this and peeing his pants in anticipation, wishing it were Monday already.

Tired of the government spying on you all the time? Strike back! Spy on the government!

What is it with these stupid ads in respectable magazines (TIME, for one) and commercials on TV with great scenery and nice looking people trying to peddle some medication or other without actually saying what ailment it's good for? None of the people look sick in any way. And the commercials and ads always instruct the viewer/reader to 'ask your doctor if XYZ is good for you'. Excuse me? Didn't my doctor study medicine for who knows how many years in order to be able to determine what is good for me without any suggestions I might hazard?

And I can just see some hare-brained chick going to her doctor and asking whether she might not benefit from XYZ... And the doctor blinking and inquiring whether she really feels she would benefit from having a hairier ass or something similarly idiotic.

There's a mini-article in this week's TIME magazine mentioning how the turkeys we eat nowadays could never exist in the wild. They are incapable of walking due to their exaggerated weight. They've also been bred to have more white meat than dark, and we all know how much more tasty the dark meat is...

Anyway, there's an organization that provides turkeys that are more aligned with what used to be natural. I'll be trying them out this year...

Long overdue, I give you the data on some really kickass oriental (teriyaki) marinade and garlic sauce, both made by Chris Selkirk of Selkirk, NY. Hot damn... How do you go about making a town name itself after you? How much did this guy have to pay? That would explain why he doesn't have a website, he must be plumb out of cash after splurging on the town name. He makes a mean sauce, though...

And last but not least, there's Smokin' Bob's Foods, producer of some out of this world and deadly hot beef jerky. Seriously. Nothing in the hot category has ever made me so much as blink until I took a bite of this guy's product. Looks like he doesn't have a website, either, despite the fact that no town's named after him... Anyway, should anyone wish to order something from these two excellent companies, let me know and I'll send you contact info.

Hmmm... I'm getting hits from East Stroudsburg University... I wonder why the locals are getting interested in me... Was it something I said? I haven't killed anyone yet, so that can't be it... Well, hope you enjoy... I enjoy your radio station, WESS... The BBC news in the mornings, and the two hot sounding chicks that do the Heavy Metal program I forget which weeknight... I could do without the Rap programming most of the other nights, though, but it's no biggy, I carry almost a hundred CDs in the car, so I always have a choice...

Drop me an email and we'll meet and grab ourselves a beer, 'kay?

There's a CNN newscritter by the name of Rym Brahimi. I first noticed she existed during this recent instance of the ongoing Iraq War. What struck me during the broadcasts in the middle of the war, while Saddam was still in charge, was how dog ugly she was. Since then, she's been appearing more and more on CNN, and she's shown a marked improvement in the looks department. She's actually become attractive to me, whereas before I wouldn't have touched her with someone else's amputated hand.

Now, my question is, which one's the real Rym? Is she a cute and delectable little lady who downplayed her looks, a sort of Special FX creation, in order to not aggravate the regime in power which did not wholly approve of good looking femmes strutting their wares? Or was that puppy the real Rym, and the current one something put together by a very good make-up crew? I can't find a pic of either one of the two Ryms I'm talking about, but here's a sort of transitional Rym that was on the net. This one's not as ugly as she was during the broadcasts from the Gulf, nor is she as attractive as she looks (to me) in current CNN broadcasts.

After much thought, I have reached a decision on something that's been bugging me for a while. It's going to hurt several people very dear to me, hopefully only for the short term. I'm betting on a marked improvement for almost all involved in the long term. I'm usually right, but in this case, where the risks are so high, I will try to stay on the good side of all the Gods and Demons for the duration, just in case. The whole thing'll probably be resolved soon, within a year or two, at most... A mere eyeblink for one such as I...

Yeah, I know... I forgot to update the prior post as I'd promised. Also forgot to look up the info in order to update it. I have only one of the vendors' cards handy. Very good and very hot salsa called After Burner. No website. I do have names and phones of the owners, if anyone's interested. Email me. Here's a complete list of the vendors at the Garlic Festival, but no contact info. More on the 2 or 3 really outstanding ones later...

The Pocono Garlic Festival 2003 was awesome. The area did get an almost continuous drizzle throughout the day, which didn't bother me at all, but did impact sales for the folks with stands. I was sorry about that. Some of them really depend on events like this one to get enough income in order to make it to the next festival. The advantage to me was a reduced crowd. Last year's had way too many people, and I've never enjoyed crowds. This one, while not empty, was nowhere near what the last one was like in people density.

Anyway, the food was awesome. And we (yeah, I had visitors) found some great deals. Some of the sellers had slashed prices as much as 50% in order to get the reduced number of people to buy everything they'd brought.

One thing I did not like is that the wine stands (there're two of them) were charging a dollar, refundable against purchases, for the dubious privilege of tasting their wares. Now, I enjoy the local wines, I buy at least 2 bottles a week at their permanent stores, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay them up front for a few drops of barely passable wine, even if I would get my money back in the end. I don't recall a single time I have ever gone near a wine vendor and asked for a taste without the clear intention of buying something. So, I boycotted them and as a result I went into a store the next day, one I had not seen before, and bought a couple of very good wines, at better prices, and found some ridiculously inexpensive blue cheese, too. This new store is a stone's throw from my abode, but I had never walked down that particular street before, and so had never seen it. I will be going there every week now...

I sampled some very good hot salsas, and bought a couple of bottles. Also some really wicked beef jerky, nuclear hot, which I have to remember to order some more of... Don't have the names of the companies handy, but I'll update this post tonight, from home.

Next weekend there's a reasonably good Jazz Festival in the area, and the band I mentioned in an earlier post will be playing. I'll be attending that, Gods willing...