Correction to yesterday's report on a train accident... There was no train involved...

In what has to have been the weirdest freak accident since that time at the circus when the Fat Lady fell from a second story balcony into the Siamese Twins' trailer, separating them and forever ruining their show... But I digress...

Anyway, what really happened was that a huge transport truck carrying an undetermined but large number of live goats crashed into a tree and bounced full speed into a house. The truck's cabin was completely flattened. There was blood all over the place, and full chaos as dead, dying and merely pissed off goats were sent flying all over the place, bleating the whole time in a manner reminiscent of an Elementary School's Choir.

I'm even sorrier I missed it now. It sounded like awesome fun...

Damn.

It seems the train derailed in a town close to where I live and went straight through a frigging house. All my buddy firemen are probably there and I'm here in the office. By the time I get home, all the excitement will probably be over, too.

Damn.

I don't know whether to be happy or pissed off with this one.

Clear Channel is being hit with a hefty fine by the FCC for indecency. On the one hand, I'm a firm believer that the government shouldn't meddle if people want to say fuck, shit, piss, cunt, tit and any other word on the FCC's ban list on the air or elsewhere. If people really find it all that offensive, then they'll stop tuning in, ratings will drop, sponsors will cancel, and the station will either fold or mend its ways. I do not need the government deciding what I can and cannot hear. I'm perfectly capable of making up my own mind in that respect. On the other hand, I hate Clear Channel with a vengeance. They pulled my favorite morning radio show, the Radio Chick. They also cancelled the Iron Maiden concert I was so thrilled to be attending this week with what has to have been the stupidest reason possible, a scheduling conflict between Clear Channel and the venue. And they supposedly discovered this a few hours before the concert was to have started, since I checked both Maiden's webpage and Ticketmaster the day before and nothing was wrong at the time. Thankfully, Iron Maiden is one of the few bands who actually give a fuck about their fans, and they at least make the gesture of offering some hope for future consideration to those affected by this.

My office looks like a garbage dump. I moved in a lot of stuff from the cubicles of people from my group that were laid off recently, since I'm one of the few with an office that has a door that locks. If I'd left their stuff in the cubicles it would have walked away on its own pretty soon. That, plus the normal amount of shit that 'cumulates in the course of business has this place looking terrible, even for me. I'll spend the next 2 hours organizing and throwing away stuff, I guess. I'm moving sometime next week, and I'd prefer to leave the trash in the garbage can instead of taking it all with me and sorting through it in my new office.

In a press conference destined to become a legend, Japanese ball player Tadano declared that he "was not gay, he just played one in a movie..."

This morning I heard the tape of the conversation between a Flight Attendant, Betty Ong, from American Airlines Flight 11, on September 11th, 2001, and the people at American Airline's Operations Center in Raleigh, NC. This was one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center in NY. It's amazing how calm she was throughout, although it is also true that she thought it was a standard hijacking, and so probably had some hope of coming out alive.

It's also amazing to hear some of the stupid questions and waste of time she was made to put up with by the AA people taking her call. Hindsight is 20/20, of course, but you'd think they'd have been a bit more efficient when hearing of a hijacking where two of their employees had already been stabbed and the cockpit was incommunicado. Here's a transcript.

It's a chilling tape, whatever else it might be. And from having listened to 8 minutes in the life of one Flight Attendant, I'm confident in thinking she must have been one hell of a woman...

Fascinating article showing how Colombia is really the birthplace of Psychoanalysis...

I spent some time yesterday practicing a series of moves used during combat with Japanese swords. This becomes easier and easier every week as my body starts to learn the positions, stances and transition moves involved in each of these. It also helps that I understand the purpose of what I am doing. Many years ago I started practicing Tae Kwon Do, and even though I attained a few of the progressive ranks they bestow, each represented by a differently colored belt, I was never really into it. Too much depended on static moves, where one had to do things in an exact certain way. I always wondered what would happen if the opponent didn't agree to conform to the movements I expected of him. Years later, when I actually had to fight someone supposedly versed in the martial arts, I learned the answer to my question. These guys look good in a contest, with rules, and rare divergence from carefully learned moves... But in a real fight, most crumble like a cookie.

The moves I am learning are not static. There are basic stances, and movements, or series of stances, with as many variations as are possible, according to the different ways an opponent can react. It's also stressed to expect the unexpected, and not to be at ease thinking that an opponent will always perform as in practice. The basic moves or techniques we learn can then be strung together, much like beads on a wire, to make something unique and suited to the situation at hand. Add to that a well honed blade and utter lack of fear and you have a very formidable person. Even the practice swords, made of bamboo or wood, can cause serious damage, even death, when wielded adequately.

In fact, one famous Samurai gave up using real blades altogether, in favor of wooden swords. He never lost an encounter in his whole career. And many of his duels where he fought with wooden swords ended in death. A school exists to this day which continues to promote his teachings. And his book is still (rightfully) considered an indispensable classic.

I am surprising myself by executing complicated moves without even being aware of them, my body simply flowing from one to another. I am nowhere near perfect yet, but I've started to get praise from Sensei instead of the usual "No", followed by an explanation of what I did wrong, or him adjusting my stance to the one I should have been in.

I have family outside the United States. I am in the United States. This family of mine is financially dependant on me to some degree, so I send them money periodically. When I first relocated back here, I looked at a couple of options on how to send them money.

There's some marginally legit folks who'll take your money here, charge you a very small fee, and deliver said money in the country I needed it to be delivered to. I don't give a shit whose money they're laundering or that I am helping them do that. My one worry is that if there happens to be some problem, and the money doesn't show up, there's not a whole lot of legal action I could initiate against them. So I never used them, even though a very good buddy swears by them and has been sending money through them for years. Better safe than sorry...

I could also open a bank account here, and mail my family the debit card. I'd provide them with a PIN once I knew they had possession of the card. That would even allow them to take advantage of the official exchange rate there, which I used regularly when I lived there to boost my income by anywhere between 10 and 20%. It worked this way. I'd get my salary in local currency. I'd convert that to dollars at the black market rate, which was a good 300 local units below the official rate. I'd deposit the resulting dollars in my account here (don't ask how, just trust me, I did it). I'd then withdraw money over there, in local currency, with my debit card, at the official rate. Instant profit of 300 local units per dollar. How's that? Only problem with that was, I also need proof that I have been sending money in case there's ever any claim to the contrary, so despite its many advantages, I discarded that idea, too.

I finally decided to use good, old Western Union. The first time I sent money, I went to a supermarket, filled out the paperwork, paid my fee and that was it. I made note of the fee, too. I then went online, created an id at Western Union's website, along with my credit card info, and next time around I sent money via the web. I discovered that by sending online, the fee was a good 5 dollars cheaper than by sending it at the supermarket. This is as it should be, since I was doing all the work and they were saving whatever the cost of keeping a point of presence in the supermarket was, plus the time of the clerk who took my order, plus the commission the supermarket charges.

A few months down the line, though, I noticed a sharp increase in the online fee. I again compared with the supermarket fee and found that indeed, it was cheaper at the supermarket. I sent a nastygram to Western Union about this and started sending money in person for a while. I mean, do they think everyone is as stupid as they are? Why would I pay more money (a few dollars only, like 3 or 4) for the dubious privilege of doing all the work myself, as well as trusting their sorry excuse for a secure website with my financial information? Another few months passed, and even though I ever got a reply to my nastygram, I went online again to check if the fee had changed. It had! It was again a few dollars cheaper to do it online.

Then, almost a year ago, the online fee about doubled. I check every now and then, just for kicks, but went back to sending in person ever since. I checked again today. The fee for sending in person is 15 dollars. The fee for sending online the exact same amount of money, to the exact same person, in the exact same geographical location, is 34 dollars. Someone very, very stupid has been given managerial duties at Western Union. I can probably give you a pretty good idea of when this person was hired, or given that function, too. It had to have been around the time that fee increase was instituted.

I wonder, though, how many people actually pay the exhorbitant fee without knowing how much cheaper it is to do it at a supermarket? Class Action Suit, anyone?

Someday...

Almost forgot...


Happy New Year!!!!!

Today marks the start of the Year of the Monkey...

I had the damnedest dream. I'd picked up some homeless people and allowed them to crash at my place. Of course, they soon cleaned out my house, stealing everything of value they could find. I spent most of a morning going around blocking credit cards, filling out claims forms and shit like that. I almost always know when I'm dreaming, and I can control my dreams, too. In this case, I was oblivious to the fact that I was dreaming, and it was utterly realistic. After I returned home, I found the homeless people sitting out front with all my stuff, very apologetic. They returned everything, shedding tears about how they hadn't been strong enough to resist the temptation, yada yada... About then I woke up.

Very weird. I mean, I would never invite anyone I didn't know very, very well, much less some random homeless people, to crash at my place. And even if I did, you could be more or less sure it wouldn't have been for any altruistic purpose. It'd be more like the, "Look, how propitious! Here come the sacrifices for tonight's ceremony, just begging to sleep over!" sort of thing.

Well, spent the day doing my tax return over the web. Got paid for doing it, too. By both government and employer. I live for days like this.

There was a point in time, 2 or so years ago, when I decided to actually try and get fired. I started doing the most outrageous things at work, as well as pissing off high muckamucks right and left. My reasoning was that, at the time, I had a 2-year guaranteed employment clause in my contract, which meant they'd have had to pay me 2 years' salary to get rid of me. I did everything I could to get fired without actually doing something illegal or violating any company policy. All I got for my troubles were a few lukewarm praises from clueless managers who couldn't be bothered to even understand and get pissed off. I got a raise and a bonus, for Pete's sake.

I no longer have that clause, of course, it expired last year, but still... I think I am going to start doing that again. I could use a raise...

I've been reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods for the past few days. I expect to finish it tonight. It's not a bad book, quite the contrary, it's certainly a good read. It's even sublime at times. But.

I sort of expected more out of it. The way everybody goes on and on about it, as if it were some profound revelation. I've read at least 3 very similar tales, so I didn't even find all that original. Could it be that most of today's readers have no past? That is, they only read new works and never take the time to read older stuff?

While I'm happy I finally read it, I'm also happy I didn't actually buy it. I got it from the local Public Library. At some point I definitely have to scrub my collection, picking out the pieces I actually want to keep for some reason or other, and giving the rest away. Not having bought American Gods means one less book to give away at some point in the future...

Today's News Item from the Surreal World:

Ohio Firefighters Watch House Outside Town Burn

Some people, many in fact, are born stupid. But these guys just have to have had special training to excel at it. Can't wait to show that article to my Fire Chief...

In my alternate identity as a fireman, I was doing traffic control while a crashed car was taken care of. The driver was still within the crashed vehicle, and I could see my Fire Chief talking to him. I was some 30 yards back, slowing down traffic and making sure some other idiot didn't compound the problem by crashing into the accident scene, so my attention was mainly elsewhere. But for a long time, every time I glanced back, the Chief was still talking to the guy. Usually, there's not too much talk. You cut the guy out if he's trapped after getting a quickie rundown from him (if he's conscious) on where he thinks it hurts. If there's no need to cut him out, you determine whether he needs an ambulance pickup or not pretty quickly. You don't gab for minutes. I thought it weird but kept on doing what I was doing. After a while, the car was taken to a nearby rest area and we packed up our stuff and headed back to the station.

I changed back into my normal clothes with the rest of the guys, and then we talked for a while at the front desk. Now, my real name is latino sounding, and I look somewhat latino. I was born and mostly raised in NYC, but WASP types (like the Chief) looking at me would be justified in considering me hispanic.

The Chief suddenly looked as if he were having a Eureka moment, and the following conversation ensued:

Chief ..... "Hey! Do you speak Spanish?"
Me ........ "Yeah, sure, why?"
Chief ..... "The guy in the car didn't speak any English, just Spanish, and I had a hell of a time trying to make out if he was hurting, or wanted to go to the hospital! That's why we spent so long out there freezing our asses off."
Me ........ *laughing my ass off* "I guess you make Chief by being a good Firefighter, and not necessarily for dazzling use of logic, huh?"

How true...


You belong in Time Enough For Love. You are older
than you look. Your wit and wisdom are prized
by others. People throw themselves on you,
begging to be with you.


Which Heinlein Book Should You Have Been A Character In?
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Got my new co-worker today, to replace poor, old Darth Diep who passed away recently. Since my naming convention for them has the mandatory 'Darth', to stress that they are named after one who has passed unto the Dark Side of Management, i.e. gross stupidity, plus the name of the worst example of management personally known to me at the time I acquire them, I give you Darth Matt:

I am, as I never tire of pointing out, one more in synch with the night and all that Darkness stands for, than with the light and the powers of Day. Nevertheless, as with the eastern concept of Yin and Yang, there can be no absolutes. Black must contain at least a speck of white, as must white contain a speck of its complement.

My interests, as such, mostly follow along this alignment that I find myself in. My taste in music is definitely dark, where my favorite genres are Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, Death and the like. That doesn't prevent me from enjoying, now and then, a good piece of Classical, or an Opera, or even some light, cheery, old rock song.

I enjoy comics a lot, too. Mainly the darker, bloodier and more savage offerings on the market. Wolverine and his philosophy makes him a favorite of mine, for example. And then there's a lot of non-mainstream comics few have ever heard of, but which are pretty violent, and even sick (to mainstream minds). I can still enjoy other types of comics if the artwork and writing are good, although there are very few of those. I want to take this opportunity to celebrate one of those few.

January 10th marked the 75th anniversary of a Belgian man who came to be called Hergé creating what would become a worldwide classic. Many here in the US have probably never heard of Tintin, but trust me, it's more than a comic. It's art. It's a part of history, too.

I join Belgium in wishing a Happy 75th Birthday to Tintin. I'll want one of the coins the Belgian Bank is issuing to commemorate the event, too.



Hey! Maybe I'll win a trophy for The Most Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" in a blog post!!!

Some months ago I heard a live Ted Nugent interview on what used to be my favorite morning show (since cancelled). One of the questions posed to him was regarding his stance on reality shows. Nugent went on to ridicule Ozzy for The Osbornes and took advantage to note that Ozzy is a prime example for why Nugent decided to stay away from drugs in the first place. Now, I agree with Nugent as far as The Osbornes is concerned, and I extend the position to reality shows in general. I've never seen the point to them, and regard them to be as amusing as watching paint dry.

What struck me as hilarious, though, is that Nugent just proved that staying away from drugs doesn't stop you from being stupid.

Ozzy is recuperating from injuries suffered while driving some sort of sports vehicle. You can't much blame Ozzy, since he's way too brainburned to have a clear idea of what he's doing even in the best of times. The blame should lie on whoever allowed Ozzy to drive the vehicle in the first place.

Nugent is currently being treated for almost hacking off an appendage with a chainsaw while filming his own reality show...

Ozzy can blame his woes on brain damage caused by drugs. What's your excuse, Teddy???

Darth Diep's little home looks so empty know that he's gone...



Didn't have time to get a replacement today... Maybe when I get out of work, but probably not. Don't want the new one to spend the night at home with the cats. He might come out the worse for wear...

What'll I name the new one?

We are in mourning today. One of the most valued members of my team passed away during the weekend. A very sad situation. This team member had been with me since my prior position, in Raleigh, NC.

He did live a full life, with as much comfort as we could provide for him, thankfully. Please, send no flowers.

Oh, well. Better go out and buy a new Betta fish...

Too funny...

Asteaband is your Vampire name.

You are a fun-loving Vampire who likes to scare others. Humans look at you with fear, and other Vampires are amused by your energetic antics.

What is your Vampire name?
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It's been at least 2 weeks since I've been called out to a fire or an accident. I'm bored. Can something really nasty PLEASE happen while I'm within responding distance???

Today's one of those days where I've been forced to work. I resent it.

My opinion is that Michael Jackson paid off Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) to pull off his little stunt with the baby. I find Steve annoying, and I'm sure the crocs share my views. He's probably right in saying that at no point was the baby in any danger, he's too well seasoned in his animals' behavior for it to be otherwise, but he had to have known how stupid it would look and that the media would run away with it. Ergo, Jackson put him up to it. Now he can say that he's not the only famous person doing questionable things to small children.

I still wish the croc had chomped both Steve and the baby. "Hey! Maybe a dingo ate your Steve!"

I had the chance to train for a day at a Dojo specializing in Kendo. This on top of my current studies on traditional Japanese swordfighting. While being taught how to strike with my practice sword against my opponent's, the sensei indicated that I was using too much strength. The purpose was not to strike hard, he said, but merely to tap. This goes totally against the grain of what I am being taught, in that all our strikes are meant to go through a target.

That's when it dawned on me. Kendo is a sport. Points are gained by making light contact on certain spots. Whereas I am learning what used to be a practical way of killing people. I'll probably want to learn Kendo at some point, since it does offer valuable teachings (techniques) despite its nature, but I finally understood my sensei's expression the day we met and I said I was interested in learning Kendo, and he tried to explain that Kendo wasn't what he taught.

I have long ago given up on trying to make humans into rational beings. Some might find that statement amusing, coming from an avowed mage, but bear with me, and I'll try to explain. Reality functions in much the same way as a computer does. And one can either make use of reality in the same way a user does a computer, which is simply to make some functions easier through their limited use of programs and system tools, or one can do so from an Admin level, where one knows how Reality really works and has full mastery of the programs and tools, not to mention access to all the system passwords and hidden folders. Let's call that Nicholas's Theory on the Nature of Reality.

Now, let's take my analogy a bit further and use it to explain religion and Superior Beings. Let's say I as a computer user wish to write a document. I'd be best served by opening up MS-WORD and starting to write. It wouldn't be a good idea to open up MS-PAINT, though, even if it does have a function that allows me to add text. Mapping that to Reality, think of MS-WORD and MS-PAINT as deities. Or demons. Or angels. Or whatever rocks your boat. Depending on the nature of the task I wish to accomplish, I want to call up one of these entities instead of any of the others available, because the one I call up will be the best suited to performing the task I want. I don't have to really believe in that entity except for the amount of time necessary to perform the task I have in mind.

Going back to the computer, I am a rabid anti-Microsoft person most of the time, holding the opinion that their products suck big time. Nonetheless, I happily use MS-WORD for my text editing purposes because it is the standard and will get the job done, most of the time. I submerge my disbelief in it for the time I need to use it. Following a monotheistic religion is akin to trying to use MS-WORD for all your data processing needs. Try to use it and only it for documents, spreadsheets, checkbook balancing, image editing, playing music, watching videos, sending emails, viewing webpages, chatting via IM and all the other things you do on a computer. You'll quickly find that MS-WORD is adequate for the first one, and will do most of the others, just not in a very efficient way. In fact, it'll really suck at a lot of them. And then there are a few of them it just won't do at all.

Magic is the science of programming and using the computer that is Reality. Religion is the perversion of that science where someone decided that just one program (monotheistic), or in some cases just one vendor (pantheistic), was to be used for all purposes. And that all the other programs/vendors out there were trash.

This was highlighted one time by someone's comment at a non-Judeochristian ceremony ridiculing the beliefs underlying the proceedings. I couldn't help but point out that they made about as much sense as kneeling and praying to a dead guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

A rational being will use whatever available program works best for the task at hand, regardless of his feelings on said program or its vendor. Once the task at hand is accomplished, a rational being will set aside the program until it is needed again. One who is not only rational, but also gifted, will endeavor to master as many programs as he can, too.

And that said, and realizing that I've almost said too much, I wish that those ready to understand will find this and that it'll serve them as that last push needed to reach understanding and take that first step.

Today I went hiking up a trail I had never noticed before. After a few hours' trek I reached a lake up in the mountains. Beautiful scenery, and pristine. In fact, I'm fairly convinced that no one has been there in a long time. It doesn't appear on any of the trail guides or maps of the area, and I'd never heard it mentioned. Some of the guys I hobnob with nowadays are fishing and hunting types and they always talk about the good spots. They're pretty open about it once they've accepted you, too. The trail leading there starts out in the middle of an otherwise overgrown woody area, with nothing to indicate it's there. It was sheer chance that I stumbled on to it. I saw trout as long as my arm jumping out of the water. Another sign that no one's visiting the place.

I'll go back to explore it earlier in the day, soon.

This year feels just like last year. I don't see any of the differences everybody was going on about. Yet. I hope I didn't get a defective one...