Testing a Sword

In bygone times, testing a sword was a must. You would buy your sword from the honored craftsman who produced it, and unless he was one of the few, very well-known masters, you were in your right to say, "well, how do I know it's a good blade?" Your craftsman would then probably point to the door, and say, "Dozo", which roughly translates as "proceed".

The lucky prospective purchaser would step outside, approach the first peasant he saw, and try out the blade. The end result would be a dead or dying peasant, and a good idea of how good a sword was being offered. This was, of course, back in feudal Japan when the higher castes were so separated from the lower as to, for all intents and purposes, have the lower ones seen as not even properly human. Hence, perfect subjects for a test of this nature.

After Japan's spirit was weakened somewhat, and the Samurai were no longer in such control of the peasants lives, other modes of testing replaced the former. Rolled bundles of tatami were used, as were the bodies of livestock, and, availability playing a significant role, convicts slated for execution. The technical name for this was and is tameshigiri, from the two kanji meaning test and cut.

Nowadays, few practitioners have actually cut anything with their sword. I've been offered the rare opportunity of doing so tomorrow. I am very much looking forward to that.

Now, I'll slip in a public service announcement here in order to fulfill my civic duties at the same time as I educate a bit on swords. As I was saying, swords must be tested before going into battle, as during the actual battle it will be too late if one were to discover a flaw in the sword. So it is with people.

While I've not been following the Democratic National Convention, I have been exposed to the odd soundbyte on the radio and on TV these past days. I couldn't help but hear Kerry saying he was "reporting for duty" when he accepted the nomination. I could hardly contain my laughter. What an unfortunate choice of words coming from him.

Last time Mr. Kerry reported for duty, he pulled every string available in order to have our Armed Forces count 3 'wounds', one a slightly significant one, and the others amounting to no more than scratches, as Purple Heart material. Once he got his 3 Purple Hearts, he pointed out a rule that allowed any recipient of 3 Purple Hearts to be sent back stateside, and promptly had himself taken back home.

It's nice to have that example of what Kerry means by 'reporting for duty'.

I'd say that Kerry has been tested, and found wanting. Were he a sword, you would find him in the trash bin at the back of my house. A flawed sword is useless. So's a flawed President, as Bill so kindly proved already.

We've tested Kerry. I hope we don't make the mistake of keeping hima round for sentimental or decorative purposes, as some do with flawed or damaged swords.

Reality

Reality is far different from what we were led to believe. The physicists, the philosophers, the priests, all wrong. The occultists came close, but no cigar.

What if I told you that reality is a hodgepodge of different things, all jumbled together into something that appears to be a whole, but which has flaws in its fabric, flaws which can be found and used? What if I said that?

Yeah, I'd have called me crazy, too. It does explain the things I've always been able to do, though, so my experiences are now consistent with my explanation of reality. A pity I can never share that explanation with anyone. Oh, the things I've seen!

The World's Pace

I find myself mismatched against the world's pace at this point in time. I bet it's happened to you, too, right? You need things to happen quickly but the world insists on moving at a snail's pace. Or on the contrary, you need more time but the rush of events overwhelms you.

Miyamoto Musashi stressed timing in his Go Rin No Sho. I have yet to master it. Guess I'll have to keep on trying.

Right now the world moves too slow, in case you're wondering.

Models and the warping of the modern eye

An online acquaintance posted an entry on his blog berating Western women who show their body despite not looking like the current ideal of what a woman should look like.

I posted the following comment to his entry:

Excellent. There's something else we can disagree on besides politics.
I happen to like normal looking women. The current 'fashionable' preference seems to be for starved looking waifs with bodies like boys carrying cherry tomatoes in their shirt pockets.

Women's bodies evolved for the main purpose of bearing offspring. They are supposed to be curvy, and pleasingly plump.

Also, seeing as you complain about stretch marks and other blemishes, these are to be found on almost all bodies. Except those to be found in magazines, of course. You are aware that they airbrush those, right? Yes. Your favorite model is as apt to have cellulitis or stretch marks as the ugly (to you) 'ferang' women you complain about, but reality does not come with an airbrush, hence you get to see the latter's blemishes.

The only ugly thing about Western women, to me, is that most are so ashamed of the way they look that they are painfully unpleasant to be near to. So silly to be ashamed of something natural... I wish all of them would show off their yummy, plump bellies and endearing stretchmarks.

The only thing I'd like to add to that is that this preference for thin, starved, unnatural women is pretty recent. Throughout most of our history, men preferred women who looked like good breeders. For the life of me I can't understand why this shifted despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of women look nothing like the ideal espoused these days.

Discrimination

Some friends visited over the weekend, and we ended up going for some fun at a local place. As luck would have it, it was "Family Day" at the place I chose, so it was extremely cheap to get in, but full of kids. I usually go there cause the pool is clean, deep and big, even if it costs more than the other, nearby places. The advantage is that due to the cost, there's usually few people there and it's always clean.

Well, anyway, this weekend it was full of kids, all ages, and the staff were holding contests by age, and some for the whole family. You know, the silly sort of stuff one usually sees at camps and other family oriented places. Not really my cup of tea, but then, it doesn't bother me to see it around me. I'll just entertain myself within the confines of my mind, and filter out the mickeymousery.

Now, the friends visiting me are deeply religious, Christian folk. Go figure. Yeah, I keep some aspects of myself carefully hidden from some folks. These in particular do not know my stance on things Christian beyond knowing that I'm not a rabid believer. They probably think I'm just a lapsed Christian. Anyway, they being what they are, they were actually enjoying themselves at the "Family Day" event which I'd taken them to by accident.

Near the end of the afternoon, though, for one of the activities, a diving contest, the staff asked if anyone wanted to judge the event. My friend stood up and volunteered, and looked inquiringly in my direction. I said, "what the fuck", to myself and got up, too.

The two of us and one other guy were led off and the rules explained to us. We then stood waiting for the diving to start. After a few minutes, one of the staff walked up to us and apologized, saying they'd decided to have the off-duty lifeguards do the judging. We remained there for a bit, but since the diving didn't seem to be starting any time soon, I suggested we go back to our spot. As we walked away, he being somewhat disappointed that he'd not had a chance to judge, after all, I casually commented that it was obvious that he looked too Latino, reason for which the Gringa had decided not to use him (us), after all. And that someone had overheard the Gringa commenting about that to another staff member.

My friend immediately walked back to the staff chick who'd told us we were no longer needed and spoke at length to her. I was doing my best to keep a straight face throughout. After a short time, the staff chick walked off very upset, crying, and did not return (we stayed till the place closed).

Damned if I don't love chaos. I still wonder what the real reason was for her not using us as judges. Guess I'll never know now. At least I discovered my friend is very vocal when it comes to perceived discrimination. Who knew? LOL

Freelancing

In other news, I'm taking on a contract I've been offered. I haven't freelanced in 6 years. God knows where I'll find the time to do it. I hope it won't end up eating at my "read all the internet" time. I suspect it'll eat at the scarce time I actually spend doing work my employer thinks I should be doing. We'll see. I need to sit down and do some serious planning and scheduling. More on that later. Maybe.

A Thief Judges by his own Condition

That's a saying they have in Spanish-speaking lands. The original goes "ladrón juzga por su condición". They mostly use this quaint saying whenever they meet with someone who is very mistrustful and not shy about showing it. What they mean is that the subject's mistrust is based upon his lack of trustworthiness, and his subsequent belief that all other men are like himself. Beyond this main use for the phrase, it's extended by analogy to most any other time a person seems to be making pre-judgements about other people and is never meant in a flattering way.
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This very useful phrase may be applied to countries and/or the people making up the country or society we want to refer to. A particular case in point is a comment I hear a lot from both sides of the political table. To wit, that "why didn't the Iraqis themselves rise against Saddam?"

I've heard the Republicans ask this rhetorically as a justification for why we had to invade, since after years of Saddam's abuse it seemed obvious that the Iraqis would want him gone but for some arcane reason were unable to revolt. Then we have the Democrats asking the very same question to demonstrate that we went into Iraq unwanted by anyone, much less the Iraqis, and that these would have revolted against Saddam themselves if they had been oppressed.

Both points of view are equally fallacious, and bring us back to the quaint saying I referred to in my opening paragraph. Almost all Republicans and Democrats, which is to say, Americans in general, have the firm belief that the rest of the world is exactly like us and would think and behave exactly like us if they were to be given the chance to, and maybe a slight nudge in the right direction. And this isn't something limited to Americans. The Germans as a people have this huge guilt complex for what they did to the Jews and have a hard time understanding why anyone would not feel the same way. The French insist on backing down from any sort of conflict and are baffled when others don't show the same, laudable cowardice which they've turned into a national pastime.

No one here has understood that the Iraqis, and most Arab people, when you get right down to it, are still at a cultural level comparable to Feudal Europe. Just as a typical peasant back then would not have dreamed of revolting against his liege, nay, would not have even understood the concept, even after a lifetime of oppression, neither does your typical Arab ever get within a light year of thinking that the King/President/Sheikh/Whatever can be dethroned. Furthermore, back in Feudal Europe had anyone come along, removed the King, and handed over power to the people, the people, bless their silly hearts, would not have known what to do with it. Even after Feudal Europe was vanished, the French had no idea what to do with power once they got rid of the Royalty. Really. Go read a history of the French Revolution.

That is why democracy in Iraq must be propped up by external means for considerable time, at least until a new generation is raised that understands the concept. I'm not even sure that's possible at this stage in their development, either, but it seems to be the game plan our leaders are playing off of. Myself, I'm content we overthrew one dangerous megalomaniac and firmly believe we should move on to the next one, or simply nuke whatever general area we think Osama's hiding in and then review, to see what we shoudl do after that.

The main reason we're getting bogged down is because we insist on treating the Iraqi people as Americans-in-waiting. They've got a couple of centuries to go before attaining that stage.

Rafting

I had a couple of conference calls this morning, which I duly attended and even resolved some issues that had been worrying my management. At around 11am I said, "Fuck it! Enough is enough." You see, I regularly work a hell of a lot more than 8 hours a day and never get compensated for that. True, a good part of the time I'm "working" is actually spent browsing the net and furthering my education on whatever strikes my fancy at the time, but even so, I do put in a lot of work and get not even a thank you in return.

Accordingly, after saying "Fuck it! yada yada yada", I stepped out, drove a bit down the road, and went into a place offering rafting on the river. It was starting to rain, too. I love rain.

I then spent a very enjoyable 3 hours just rowing down that river. Knowing that my company was still paying me for the whole time I spent rowing just added spice to the whole thing. I may take it up as a regular Friday activity, too.

New Template

I've been getting bored with the layout for some time now, figured I'd change. This one's way too cheery for me, of course, but it's a good starting point. I'll change the background graphics to something more suitable tomorrow.

In the meantime, you lucky few will get to see a cheery Necroblog.

Proof of my Return

I'm here, aren't I?

Give Peace a Chance

Back in the 60's a weird notion was given the spotlight for a time. One of my favorite musicians, John Lennon, was in great part responsible for it, too. It can be summed up as "give peace a chance". Now, the notion itself is about what you'd expect from that time period. In other words, a very nice notion which would probably make the world a better place but which when you get down to it is impractical any which way you look at it. To "give peace a chance" in the way the peaceniks envisioned it would only work if we weren't dealing with human beings, but instead with some other race who had had the fortune to evolve under different circumstances.

Our species is warlike at worst, and criminally ignorant at best. We evolved in strict competition for resources, and this carries over into our every interaction even to this day. It is to our credit that in some cases we have been able to rise beyond that, in limited ways, and behave in fashion not one hundred percent weighted to someone's advantage.

Witness the current Iraq scenario. I've been trying to educate a few youngsters regarding the United States' position. They insist that we're in it for the oil. I agree that we're in it partly for the oil. Were there nothing to interest us in that region, then we'd ignore it as we ignore, say, Canada. But the oil isn't our only reason to be there. Bush is being perfectly honest in saying that Saddam was a menace to his own people and had to be taken down. He is equally honest in believing he was a threat to our interests who had to be removed. And, of course, we do need the oil.

How stupid some people are in thinking that events must have one and only one reason behind them. Or that governments should act for wholly altruistic reasons. Or in believing that tyrants and terrorists bent on destroying our way of life can be dealt with in any way besides wiping them from the face of the Earth.

And then there are the morons who read dark and sinister intention on anything the government tries to do. Otherwise smart people will build up ridiculous conspiracy theories out of any press release coming from the White House, or even news bulletins written around trivial statements. One blog, fascinating for its conspiracy-minded flights of fancy, compared Bush with Nehemiah Scudder (The Prophet from Heinlein's Future History, a religious, tyrannical dynasty who takes over the U.S.) simply because of the non-event announcement a few days back that the White House is researching what powers it might have if a terrorist attack tries to sabotage the elections. I've got news for you, kiddies, the government has to look at every possibility, especially in the post-9/11 days, so that later the liberal media can't accuse it of not having prepared for every eventuality.

They're all so willing to read dark designs into anything our government does, a la Michael Moore, while glossing over anything the real bad guys do, like gassing their own people (Saddam with the Kurds) or crashing airplanes into buildings (Al-Qaeda). I guess in their eyes it's okay for everyone else to carry out bad shit, and we as Americans should simply grin and bear it. I am getting tired awfully quickly of this mentality. Thank goodness these people are in the minority, despite being loud and with deep pockets. They are in for a rude awakening come November.

The Stupid Outdo Themselves Again

Some time back, one of the worst examples of mismanagement I've ever had the misfortune to have to interact with was let go by my client. This paragon of incompetence was their Director of Technology and was singlehandedly responsible for much that was outrageously wrong within my client's IT area.

He was replaced within days with a guy coming from the banking industry, with a pretty respectable résumé. The speed with which this person replaced the outgoing buffoon hinted at long planning. At that rarified level of management, people aren't hired without weeks of pre-selection, interviews, selection, negotiation, backpedaling and other fascinating activities of the terminally inbred.

The new guy seemed more or less sane, for a while. My suspicion that the level of incompetence these people show is not natural, but rather the product of some ultrasecret alien project, has been confirmed. I listened to a voicemail this morning, left over the weekend by the new guy on my office phone, asking for a phone number of a conference call he wanted to be on that same day. This despite the fact that he knows I do not check my office voicemail or my email on weekends or after hours. Ever. For any reason. I've told him this in no uncertain way several times.

I'm constantly surprised these people have ever managed to figure out how to reproduce and actually have children. Then again, I also remember of a study undertaken by some university or other at a London slum which proved that about 8 in 10 children there turned out not to be the biological offspring of the supposed father, despite mom and dad having lived together in stable union for years upon years. Humanity improves, even if slowly and haphazardly.

Off to Oz, back next week

Follow the yellow brick road... Follow the yellow brick road... Follow, follow, follow, follow... Follow the yellow brick road.

Storm

One unholy bitch of a storm coming down. Storms are fun, especially up in the mountains. I guess that's my cue to head out for the mountains, then, isn't it? Storms in NJ are just pains in the ass. There is nothing fun, no matter what it is, to be had in NJ. Someday, if I remember to, I'll write more about that. But they really should change the state motto from Garden State to Blah State.

White Ninja

While I am not a ninja, and if I were would certainly not be white, the following cartoon embodies my usual attitude. I detest gratuitous meddlers.

Sneakiness

Plans within plans within plans... Sometimes even I don't know my own motives till it's too late for anyone else to interfere. Thank the Gods I trust myself...

The Criminally Stupid

Was woken up yesterday at a bit past 6am by my Fire Dept pager. A code 45 (car accident) on the highway with smoke reported as coming out of the vehicle. I pulled on whatever clothes were nearest and headed out, making it to the Fire Station within a minute or two, as a couple of other guys were pulling in. As I put on my bunker gear, some more showed up. We piled into one of our engines and took off.

Upon reaching the scene, we saw an overturned car, with some really dense smoke coming out of it. You know how smoke rises, usually? That's because it's hot. Hot things rise. This smoke was coming out of a window and falling a few inches to the ground, then rolling off. Had to be something cold, thus, not smoke at all.

The driver had climbed out by that time, and was standing around. Turns out the "smoke" was coming out of a big ass liquid oxygen tank in the back seat. Why he'd need a tank of Liquid O was something he either couldn't or wouldn't explain. I got the dubious privilege of crawling in and trying to loosen the straps holding that sucker in place, as per my Chief's orders. I managed to unfasten the straps, and with the help on another buddy pulling from the opposite window while I pushed, we got the tank out and carried it away from the vehicle.

The driver had a nasty gash on his head, but refused medical treatment. We set about picking up all his shit and making a single pile of it. The cops arrived and went off to talk to the driver, while we helped a tow truck driver (and fellow firefighter) roll the car right side up and load it on his tow truck. We then helped the driver, who'd finished talking with the cops by this time, to load all his shit in the car, after which he'd presumably hitch a ride from the tow truck operator and see to his vehicle's repair or whatever.

At this point, though, the driver started looking in the grass for something. One of the cops, a State Trooper, asked him what he was looking for and received a mumbled reply. So the cop started looking around. As I moved in to help, the cop reached down and picked something up. It was a small ziploc bag with what could only be some primo weed in it. Not more than 5 bucks worth, at most. "Is this what you're looking for?", the cop asked the driver. "You're under arrest for being stupid. If you'd gotten on to the tow truck without looking for this shit, you'd already be driving away," he added.

I had to agree. How stupid can someone be? We watched in amusement and amazement as the perp was searched, handcuffed and packed into the waiting police car. Idiot.

Smashing!

I found the most wonderful site. It clearly explains the purpose for those odd devices one finds in Public Restrooms these days. And why the hell are they called restrooms, anyway? Who in their right mind has ever gone into one to rest? I know I usually go to take a leak or a crap. I prefer to rest on a sofa, or in a bed.

Anyway, the site I am talking about is selling these wonderful stickers, of which I've just ordered a gross. I'll be placing them in every restroom I enter from now on! Click on the graphic if you want to go to the site selling them.

Hospitalized, but only briefly

I spent a couple of hours this a.m., until around 3am, to be precise, in the hospital, under observation and submitting to a barrage of tests.

We were called out to a trailer fire on the interstate, and arrived to see a trailer packed with the personal property of 5 families, being moved by one of the commercial moving companies. Somehow, the contents had ignited while the truck was moving, and the driver had noticed it due to the smoke coming out. He stopped and called 911, and he was within our coverage area, so we got called out.

I spent the next couple of hours going into that trailer while wearing full gear, including airmask, and lugging out stuff. Some we saved, but at least 2 of the families lost about everything that was on the trailer. I also helped put the wet stuff on the red stuff, as our teacher at fire school used to refer to pumping water. That's tiring stuff in and of itself, as the high pressure makes wielding a hose about the same as riding a somewhat weak bronco.

In between air bottles, I went off to rehab and each time I was feeling pretty messed up. The heat and the reduced oxygen gets to you. The paramedics put me on pure oxygen both times and made me rest 5 or so minutes. Then I donned gear again and went in. While I was about to start my 3rd rehab, the fire was finally put out.

At about that time, we were informed that a truck had passed by, spilling a hazardous chemical all over where we were working, as well as some 10 miles of highway ahead and behind us. They ended up closing that whole stretch of interstate while a HazMat crew cleaned it up.

One of our guy keeled over and a few others were feeling dizzy, so we were all ordered to the hospital for checkup. All we had was heat exhaustion, though, nothing to do with the chemical spill. Luckily. Some of that shit can be downright nasty.

I've never felt so alive as when I'm in a burning structure, though. Wouldn't change it for the world....

How Convenient

It seems one of the soon to be beheaded soldiers is safe and sound in Lebanon. Al-Jazeera had aired a video recently with this soldier, Hassoun, and his captors stating he'd be the next one executed. Funny that they let him go, isn't it?

My smarter, if more cynical self tells me that Hassoun orchestrated this himself, along with family members, no doubt. It's called malingering, and his execution of it seems to be a rather unnecessarily convoluted way of getting out of serving his country. Mr. Hassoun, next time just shoot yourself in the foot and get a Purple Heart, like Kerry did.

Of the nature of ghosts...

I have always been a pragmatist. While I have my usual share of curiousity, and I love getting to the bottom of things, I have always let that take a back seat when it comes to practicality. I did not require to know how an airplane flew the first time I got on one, I simply trusted that it would do the job, since I'd seen prior airplanes take off and land safely. Similarly, I have never needed to know the precise nature of demons, spirits and other assorted entities in order to trust that they'd do my bidding if I request so in the proper ways.

Contrariwise, as I'd mentioned, I am curious and have always researched whatever strikes my inquisitiveness when I have the time to do so, and once the job at hand has been completed. And on rare occasions, finding out ultimate causes has been the job at hand, which works out nicely.

This is one of those rare occasions. I am going to have to dig deeper as regards one of the prime aspects of what I like to think of as my reality. I just hope that finding out about this aspect won't damage my view of my reality in general. Reality works to my advantage right now, and I'd prefer to keep it that way.

I am feeling eerily like one of the protagonists of H.P. Lovecraft's stories, when they're on the brink of some exciting discovery, just before it turns around and bites them in the ass.

Long Weekend Coming Up

Happy 4th of July to all Americans. As for the rest of you, give us some time, we'll make good Americans out of you yet.