Indian Ragu

I am that weird mix, someone who started out in techie land, morphed into management, and understands both worlds well. I have a huge advantage over most managers that never came from a technical background in that it's difficult to bullshit me. The usual techie gobbledygook used to confuse management since time immemorial doesn't work on me since I actually understand how technical things work. On the other hand, I am equally knowledgeable in business administration and am able to see that sometimes what does not make sense from a technical standpoint must nonetheless be done for business reasons. And my management generally appreciates me because my presence means that much less crap for them to deal with.

That being said, I do understand the business reasons that are still driving the outsourcing phenomenon, along with its most recent variation, offshoring. Still, the recent conversation with someone who called me from our offices in India to discuss a particular initiative proved to me that we have no monopoly on stupidity here on our shores, as well as the fact that while the Hindus might speak a more correct form of English than we do, they've yet to acquire business acumen. Here's how I recall the conversation.

Ragu: Hi, this is Ragu, from [insert my company's name here]'s office in India. Is this [insert my name here]?
Me: Yes, how're you doing, Ragu, and what can I do for you?
Ragu: I'm calling in regards to the email my colleague Zoboomafoo sent you, asking what discovery tool you are using on your accounts for desktop inventory.
Me: I replied to Zoboomafoo's email days ago. I told him that we don't have any desktop PCs in scope on any of the accounts I handle.
Ragu: Ah, okay, thank you. So, how many desktop PCs do you support?
Me: I just told you, we don't have any desktop PCs in scope on any of the accounts I handle.
Ragu: Ah, okay. And do you know what discovery tool you use to get the desktop PC inventory?
Me: Listen, you moron, what part of "we don't have any desktop PCs in scope on any of the accounts I handle" didn't you understand?
Ragu: Ah, okay, thank you very much.
Me: You're welcome.

And I can't really blame the guy. I mean, if you're paying someone 10 cents an hour to do his job, how much intelligence can you expect?

Ragu called me again that same day, at least 2 more times, but thanks to the miracle of Caller ID, I let it go straight to voicemail.

Little Folk

All our legends, lore and traditions speak of them, so why is this such a huge surprise? The other huge mistake science is making is in assuming they're extinct. There are far too may reports of recent 'incidents' for all of them to be bogus.

Reasons not to vote for Kerry

1. The Geese
2. The Lies
3. More Lies
4. His Supporters
5. His Vicepresidential choice

That'll do for now. All of those were forwarded to me over a week or two by a friend, but I wholeheartedly endorse this commercial.

Sogetsu Ikebana

Bunbu itchi, as Musashi once probably said. In that vein, I attended a demonstration by one of the most well respected Ikebana teachers alive. Nakamura Sensei is a master of the Sogetsu school. It was fun. Different, but fun.

I can see the application to bujutsu, as well as the reason why Ikebana is practiced at the higher, more rarefied, levels of the family style bujutsu I am learning. It was easy to see the analogy between how Nakamura Sensei coaxes a branch or stem to take a required form and how we apply force to an opponent's body in order to coax him to adopt a position that facilitates lopping his head off.

New PC

My cheapskate company finally gave me a new laptop. The current one is going on 6 years. My prior company refreshed every 2 years, and they weren't even an exclusively IT company. Now, I'll have to migrate 6 years of crap into the new box. Wonder how long that'll take me...

Almost Certified FF1

They ended up postponing the practical part of the test, due to the low number of attendees. I did make it through the written part, and I did well, I think, but I won't know for some time yet.

I'll write up a better report of the whole thing, from Friday onwards, sometime tomorrow. Busy day, as usual...

New Account Goes Live

My new account is going live this weekend. If all goes well, as everything indicates it will, it'll be another feather in my cap. And even if it doesn't, it'll still be oodles of fun, watching people in headless chicken mode, as well as providing opportunities for me to lead people through yet another disaster. You can make a name for yourself that way, too. Many have. Right, George?

Rough Week

As would be obvious to anyone even remotely familiar with Murphy's Law, things always happen in clumps. With every week in the calendar to choose from, both of my accounts, plus the Firefighters' Training group and a couple of other groups I'm affiliated with, have all chosen this week to schedule a ton of activities, most of which I am required on.

As a result, I'll need to split in two, and even in three, at different points throughout to meet all my commitments. It's going to be a lot of fun, as I bounce from one call to another, and make up excuses on the fly every 1/2 an hour to someone in order to step out for a while.

Still, I have my priorities straight. Some folks are just going to have to make do without me, if the shit hits the fan, and that's that.

Weekend activities

Ah, life in the country and the humdrum yet fascinating activities thereof.

There's a Farmer's Market in a nearby town which I try to go to every Saturday, till it closes down for the Winter. There's still 2 weeks of it left, and there's no comparison between the goods sold there and those you can find at a supermarket. There's just nothing like fresh produce and homemade foods. Having access to such things is one of the many advantages of not living in an urban setting, and I have a hard time understanding why more people don't avail themselves of it. While I'd ordinarily say, 'screw them, that just means more left for me", I have to recognize that there's more than enough to go around. And if people don't support these efforts, they'll disappear, which means we'll be stuck with whatever good the local Walmart thinks will sell, and whatever quality makes their bottomline look better.

There's one particular stand at the Farmer's Market that sells dairy products, only this dairy isn't based on cows, but on goats. There's nothing quite like goat milk or cheese, and even though it's an acquired taste, I acquired it years and years ago. This time around they had forgotten to bring goat's milk yoghurt, which I really like. I hassled the two young chicks, in my usual playful yet threatening manner, about it. They gave me a card and relatively simple directions on how to get to their farm, a 10 or so mile drive. When I got there sometime later that day, even though I'd been assured someone could sell me whatever I wanted 24 x 7, I found the place abandoned. Well, not really abandoned, as there were almost 10 goats strolling around, and a good hundred more enclosed in several pastures. A door to the place was open, and after turning the knob and seeing it wasn't locked, I let myself in.

There were 2 large refrigerators, which upon inspection turned out to contain a good inventory of their products, including goats' milk, yoghurt, and cheese. I hollered a few times, and didn't get a response. I decided to use my cell to call the number listed on the card. I explained the situation to the woman who answered and she said that no one would be there for an hour yet, but I should feel free to take what I wanted and leave the money for it on the counter. I chose what I needed, and left a check behind to cover it. A business like this wouldn't last a minute in most of the places I've lived in before. It's weird (and novel) for me to live in a place where people are still honest enough for an unattended store to be viable. Weird, but nice. And now I know where the place is, and can continue enjoying their products even during the Winter, when the Farmer's Market is closed.

I drove around for a while, visiting a number of small and large towns I'd never gotten around to before, since the goat farm had taken me in a direction I don't usually drive towards. Nothing noteworthy, though. In fact, one of the towns some folks had spoken wonders of, a place called Jim Thorpe, turned out to be unexceptional. Unless you're a train buff. They're really big on trains in Jim Thorpe.

Sunday our fire department hosted a Hallowe'en Party for the kids in town, so I helped out with that.

Then, later in the afternoon, I went to class, and was informed of several changes in the dojo. A good percentage of the members are no longer members. The atmosphere had been changing the past few weeks, which I'd noticed, but I try to stay away from group politics. I'm sorry to see at least one of the members go, as he was not only my senior, but had been a real help in the beginning, and later, when it came to helping me understand a concept or move.

And that was my weekend, or the highlights thereof, rather. I did a ton of other stuff, but nothing else I care to share here.

In other news, this week promises to be hectic. I have to finish the training I need in order to be eligible for the Firefighter certification I'll be going through this coming weekend, and said training will be 3 nights this week. On top of that, I've yet to start studying and practicing the rest of the stuff I'll need.

Decisions, choices and conundrums

Lots of each one, and precious few answers for any of them. I need a week off to think and chart my course. Won't get it, of course, but that's what I'd need...

Thoughts on the Final Bush-Kerry Debate

Well, for one thing, Dubya looked far more confident than the last two times, and Kerry was on the defensive most of the time. Three amusing things...

1. From Kerry, "...it is against the law to hire people illegally!"

No shit, Sherlock! You finally discovered that if something is against the law it's illegal? And I thought only Bush used Bushisms!

2. Again, from Kerry, "...the last words my mother said to me were, 'Integrity, Integrity, Integrity'."

Well, Senator, it's a crying shame you didn't pay any attention to the old biddy!

3. Yet again, from Kerry, and Edwards, in the Cheney-Edwards debate, too, "...Cheney's daughter, who's a lesbian..."

Why in Hell's name must you drag out the fact that Cheney's daughter is a lesbian every time? Do you have the hots for her? You into lesbians, Senator? Leave the poor girl alone, god damn it!

All in all, a good debate, which hopefully highlighted how much of a wanker Kerry is for everyone who wasn't watching the idiotic baseball games.

Dangerfield

I found out only yesterday that Rodney Dangerfield had croaked. Superman was something to make fun of, but Rodney does make me sad. Hope you get some respect wherever you are now, man. You'll be missed.

Likewise found out only yesterday that Janet Leigh, of Psycho fame, had also died. She is immortal, though, so long as movies will continue to be seen.

Requiescat in pace, both of you...

Atrophy

It is a truism that an ability or feature that is not exercised frequently dwindles away until it is a phantasm of what it used to be. I honestly hate having to be meddle in the affairs of mortals, but a fascinating experiment in government is being threatened today. Despite this being one of the most crucial elections the country has ever had, I am still pretty sure that many will choose not to exercise their right to vote. From my perspective, Liberty itself is on the line this time around and I am appalled at the apathy I see, despite the fear and hatemongering on both sides, which was designed specifically to motivate voters to go out come Election Day '04.

Now, bear in mind that I am not urging anyone to vote for one or the other, although my thoughts on that are also crystal clear [cue in subliminal Bush ad here]. My purpose in penning these words is to get people to vote, and moreso, to do so intelligently. The other thing that's been worrying me is the average American's sudden reliance on celebrities for guidance on political issues. With all due respect, Bruce Springsteen might be a hell of an artist, and I, for one, really enjoy some of his music, but his political opinions have about as much weight with me as a stale dog turd would. And you know what? He might even be right on the money, when it comes to his political views, but it's not his place to guide voters. Being an accomplished artist DOES NOT automatically confer God-like powers of analysis and political savvy, quite the opposite, if you want the truth. Most of these artists, at least, the wildly successful ones, are so disconnected from reality that their opinions don't really relate to this world anymore. And I'm not picking on Bruce, he was just the first name to pop into my head. I'm sure there are also examples, albeit fewer, of artists who support the current president, Mel Gibson comes to mind. It's still not their place to pretend to greater intelligence in this respect than the rest of their fellow men. Anyone who votes a certain way simply because his or her favorite artist supports a certain candidate is a moron.

People, go out and educate yourselves on the issues that are driving this election. We now have a wealth of information at our fingertips. Just be careful, because there's also a lot of disinformation out there, put there to try and fool you, since many believe you are all idiots. So far, you haven't proved them wrong. So at this point is where you need to exercise your judgment, apply logic, season heavily with intelligence and knowledge of human nature, make an informed choice, and GO VOTE!!!! You can still prove yourselves worthy of being citizens of the greatest country in the world.

I swear, every time I hear some idiot say they're against Bush because he lied about the WMD, I feel a strong urge to use them for kiriotoshi practice. Likewise when I hear some moron on my side of the political fence say he's against Kerry because he's a slave to the U.N. Both reasons, plus a hundred or so other sound bites, are mere slogans thought up by one side or the other. They're useful when it comes to rallying behind a banner, but that does not excuse anyone from doing their homework and seeing what each really stands for. Bush did not lie, for one, and Kerry is not a slave to the U.N.

These are dangerous times, and I honestly see our Liberty at stake here. It will atrophy even more than it already has if people don't get off their asses and understand that living in the greatest country in the world comes with great responsibilities, and not just with privileges.

Of Columbus Day and ICP Revisited

Forgot to mention in yesterday's post that I did get baptized at the ICP concert. One of ICP's little trademarks when they put on a show, is that while they're performing, they're also throwing 2-liter bottles of Faygo soda into the audience non-stop. Both members of the group will be grabbing plastic bottles, shaking them up, either cracking the cap or puncturing the bottles themselves, and punting them into the audience, the bottles spinning away, shooting soda the whole time. It's what they call a Faygo Shower. It wouldn't have been worth it if I hadn't been on the receiving end of a Faygo shower... I'm proud to say I was baptized in Faygo Root Beer by Violent J himself.

Regarding Columbus Day, observed yesterday here in the USA, and being observed today in some parts of South America, I had a chat with a friend down there yesterday. Said friend commented that she didn't understand why we observed Columbus Day, as she thought Columbus had only been to South America. I laughed my ass off of that one. And here I was thinking that the USA had the absolute worst education system in the world. After a quick poll, it turns out that most of our Latino brethren do think that Columbus landed down there. In fact, Columbus never landed on the continent of South America, although he once sighted it and followed the coast for a bit. Really. Check it out. But so convinced are the South Americans of the good Admiral having done all his notable things in their area, that they even named a frigging country after him.

Of ICP, and Superman and Smalltown, USA

The Insane Clown Posse concert was mondo mojo. ICP is not one of my most favorite bands, moreso since I really don't like rap and I'm not to sure I can relate to people who go on stage and sing to a record someone else is pumping out, instead of actually playing the music themselves, but goddamn if they don't put on a good show. The stage was awesome, a very nice depiction of Hell including a few realistic looking devils. The one song where they brought out Santa and kicked the daylights out of him was worth seeing, too. In my opinion, the only record where they brushed the sublime was The Wraith, in which they were a bit more hardcore than they were rap, yet the latest one which they're promoting on this tour isn't too bad, even if it is too much on the rappy side. Anyway, I really wanted to catch them in concert, and I did. Plus, the venue was pretty small so I could get up close. I'm big enough and more importantly, stable, so that pogo-ing punks just bounce off of me, for the most. I did see one 15-year old lesbian dragging a similarly young 'life partner' and asking her, "Do you like that, bitch? Do you?" I have no idea what that was about, but it was still fun seeing.

Most of my fun at all times is provided by humanity. Watching people in different settings just cracks me up. That is probably the purpose of this planet, to keep me amused and out of trouble.

I found out this morning that Christopher Reeves, of Superman fame, passed away. I have no idea where all the respect for the guy comes from, though. You'd think the Pope died or something from the way CNN was carrying on. His legacy! Ha! What legacy? Some very bad movies plus significant fame as a result of being stupid enough not to know how to ride a horse, unlucky enough to be paralyzed for life, and smart enough to capitalize on that via a foundation for helping people with similar problems? Commendable, what he did in his later years, I'm sure, but I didn't see him doing anything like that before he had his little accident, and being a spokesman/fundraiser/founder whatever for an organization with the sole purpose of finding a way to fix his body smacks too much of self-interest for me to think he was such a swell guy. Or am I looking at it assbackwards? Drop me a comment and explain what I'm missing, all you kryptonophiles out there. I did find it hilarious that the ultimate cause of death wasn't kryptonite, but an infected bedsore. Guess Lex Luthor never thought of that!

Spent this weekend in town, a very small one, as some of you know. Early Saturday enmeshed in an Arts & Crafts Festival, in which the dojo to which I belong was having a demo. Since there are all of four people belonging to said dojo, and not all of us could make it, I made it a point to help out until I had to leave for my next scheduled commitment. That next one was an event at the Firehouse, mainly for kiddies to acquaint them with what a fire is, what a fireman does,and make sure they don't run back into a burning room because they're scared of the firefighter in all his gear. My Assistant Chief is in charge of that PR stuff, and it's very important to her, so I support it. Free food and a few other perks help my commitment, too.

Then on Sunday, I took a course at the Red Cross. Turns out you get a certification for each session, so after doing what I need to do in order to qualify for the Firefighter 1 Certification I mentioned in a prior post, I'll have not 2, but 4 other certifications.

Insane Clown Posse

Tonight. Always wanted to be a part of the Carnival of Carnage...

I hold a bloody axe, dress in hatchet red,
we speak in languages people don't understand.
I send faygos via punted clear across a stadium in fashion
only fuckin' juggalos could ever demand.
I got ninjaz in my backyard wearing Anybody Killa paint,
I'm thinkin', what the fuck is going on?
Then I see the platinum on the wall, and I realize
the carnival's been right here all along, so let's bring it on!

From: Walk Into The Light

Firefighter 1

I had signed up for a 2-day session taking place in a couple of weeks which will give me Firefighter 1 Certification. That's an official certification at a state level which I'll need in order to get access to more advanced training. Up until now the test had never been offered locally, and candidates had to go to the State Fireground to take it. That's a pretty long drive. Our local training center finally got all the equipment needed for the practical part of it, so now it's right in my backyard, so to speak. The other good thing about this certification, I'd been told, is that the test covered more or less what I'd already seen in the 80-hour training I took already. So it's more a formality than any new knowledge.

I got called by my Chief a short while ago, and he asked me whether I had 1st Aid & CPR certification, as well as HazMat. It turns out these are prereqs for getting certified in FF1. When he said that I started to mentally kick myself. Those 2 are fairly frequent offerings but I just haven't had time recently. Whereas the FF1 Certification isn't held too often and I don't know when the next one will be.

Thankfully, my Chief had already done his homework on this. I can take 1st Aid & CPR which starts this weekend, 3 sessions. It ends this same coming week, so I can have it under my belt. He's also scheduled us to take HazMat this coming Monday. This is going to really screw up my week, as regards free time, anyway, but now I'll be able to get certified, as well as having 2 other diplomas as a bonus. Not bad.

This weekend was pretty much shot, anyway, as there are events planned in town, where a festival is being held. I have duties to both Firehouse and Dojo as a result. And the next couple of weekends are equally committed to one thing or another. I don't think I'll have a lot of leisure time until the end of the month. Ah, well... I'll take a few days off here and there and make up for it. I have a lot of vacation accrued, as well as sick leave. Since I never get sick, I use it judiciously as extra vacation time. Is that wrong? LOL

Handy Caps

THEY ARE HANDY, AND ARE TO BE FOUND ON MOST KEYBOARDS.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

I think I've mentioned before some of my beefs with the handicapped, or to be more honest, with some of the things we are forced to do in order to satisfy the needs of the handicapped, and not their real needs, but rather their needs as interpreted by some group of lawmakers who are experts on the subject mainly due to their being mentally handicapped themselves.

I'm sure there's some law or other that mandates a minimum number of handicapped parking spaces according to the size of the store, or parking lot, or whatever. I'm equally sure that whatever moron thought it up used whatever percentage of handicapped people live in his district as the guideline, and never checked for other places. Turns out that at the supermarket I go to, there's about 5 handicapped parking spaces for each possible handicapped person that lives in a 25 mile radius. I've checked at all hours of the night or day and have yet to see even 50% of them in use at any one time. But this wasn't what I was going to write about, it was just a refresher course on the subject.

The problem I'm having now is that I've seen a lot of handicapped people espousing beliefs that would be termed suicidal if they took the time to think them through. First off, let me say that as far as the modern world goes, we are all handicapped. It doesn't take a wheelchair or a seeing eye dog to put you in that club. Anyone unable to easily live off his own resources, or stretching the point a little, since we did evolve as pack animals, let's say unable to easily live off his own and his immediate tribe's resources, should classify as handicapped. Now, if the technology we take for granted were to suddenly disappear, how many of us would still be alive in 2 weeks? A month? A year?

Do a quick checklist. Do you need any special medicine to stay alive, say insulin or anything else you're dependent on? Goodbye, you're dead. And right now, you're one of the handicapped. Do you live in, say, California? Oops. Goodbye. There's not enough potable water to support a hundredth of the population, sorry, you handicapped bastard. And let's not even get started on the energy requirements California has. Next question, does your immediate tribe grow or hunt its own food? No? Hmm...

Well, you all get the picture, right? We're all handicapped nowadays in the sense that we depend, some more than others, on modern technology to keep us alive. This might be because without technology we'd be dead of some medical condition or physical handicap, or simply because the current human population on the planet cannot be supported without the crutch of technology. Now, the percentage among us who have a medical condition requiring maintenance in the form of modern medicine or a device (wheelchair, glasses, pacemaker, etc.) to allow him or her to live a 'normal' life are even more beholden to technology than the rest.

That's why I find it highly amusing to see a lot of what we normally consider handicapped people embracing ideologies and causes like Greenpeace, PETA, and similar treehuggerisms. I'm all for nature and intelligent use of the environment, but let's not shoot ourselves in the foot while doing it. We cannot go back to the way the American Indians lived 500 years ago, or any other historical group admired nowadays by the treehuggers because it simply isn't feasible. Their ancestral way of life will not support our current population. I don't see the treehuggers volunteering to suicide in order to remove that small stumbling block in the grand scheme to go back to nature. As for our handicapped brethren, they wouldn't need to volunteer. They'd be dead within weeks if not sooner. They conveniently forget that back in those days, even slight handicaps were a death sentence, in one way or another. And that life expectancy was short and not particularly sweet.

So when I do a quick google and find a site like this one, with a line boasting the following gem, "Section for the Union of Handicapped Environmentalists", I have to wonder what the hell were they thinking? And can I get a directory of the members of that Union? I have a bridge to sell...

Promisory Note

I've been mulling a long post regarding the handicapped for a few hours now, but I've procrastinated the afternoon away and I have a couple of prior commitments to take care of. What that means, in my enchantingly verbose and meandering speech pattern, is that I won't be posting that particular post today. Instead, I'll post this as a promisory note, such as banks invented right around the second day after they first came into being. I'll try to write it up early tomorrow, but that's just a good intention which may easily go awry.

What I definitely promise is that it'll very likely offend most people, and it'll nonetheless be true. At least, it'll be a truth, if not necessarily the truth.

Staff

After a couple of years looking for a reasonably good one, I've finally found a staff that feels right in my hand. Got it at the local flea market. It's nothing fancy, just a reasonably straight and hefty rod of hickory wood. Dirt cheap, too.

Now I'll have to decide whether to customize it as:

a) A hiking tool
b) A weapon
c) A magickal tool
d) All of the above

Now, I'm a big fan of specialization, as I feel that gives you the best bang for your buck, but on the other hand, I don't want to start a staff collection, plus it took me a good two years to find a single suitable one.

I'll give it some thought, no need to make up my mind this very moment. Any feedback from knowledgeable, nature-loving, magickally inclined assassins would be appreciated!

Fate of the Free World 2004

Last night, against my better judgment, I sat through the whole presidential debate that was broadcast live from somewhere in Cuba. I was gratified to see it was in English, despite the venue. I had been so scared it would be broadcast in Spanish with English subtitles that I didn't even mind hearing the word 'nukular', something which in the past has always bothered me.

Now, the scary thing with this debate, which should have been pretty much a pushover for the incumbent, is that Bush was placed on the defensive a whole lot more than Kerry was, and that he had to rely on the same old argument as a response to every single attack from Kerry. Even though I wholeheartedly believe Kerry is an incompetent flipflopper who shouldn't be allowed within 10 miles of D.C., I have to admit that after the 3rd time the flipflop argument was used by Bush, it was starting to sound tired, petty and whiny. In the future, George, once you've made your point, move on. Don't dwell on the same thing endlessly or you'll be seen as a one trick pony.

The truth of the matter is that Kerry is a flipflopper, granted, but there's so much other fodder he provides. Had I been George, I'd have said at any point during Kerry's frivolous yet PR savvy attacks, "You know what, John? I am going to forego giving you an answer to that and donate my 2 minutes to you if you will use them to tell the American people what your detailed plan for Iraq is. Go." That having been said, Bush could have relaxed for 2 minutes and enjoyed Kerry's hemming and hawing for the duration. Kerry does not have a plan, and will never have one. His whole strategy revolves around saying the President lied, the President made a huge mistake, and I, John Kerry, will fix. How? Didn't you hear me? The President lied, the President made a huge mistake, and I, John Kerry, will fix. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The one thing that Bush said that's straight on the money is that Kerry's position and concern all stem from politics and media. He'll hold whatever position is currently more palatable to the American people. The problem with having a President like that is that the American people nowadays pride themselves on being uneducated, uncultured and clueless. And they have great reason to feel that way. The high point of American Culture today is the Reality Show. Pandering to such a crowd is not a quality useful to whoever holds the highest office in the land. Once the country goes to Hell in a handbasket we will not be allowed to start over from scratch next season. Things have to be done with intelligence, determination and an ongoing concern for what's best for the country, and not necessarily what the people think is best at that moment in time. Strategy cannot be determined by 5 minute moods, it must have a clear goal beyond the moment.

I don't think this debate, or any other, for that matter, is going to make or break anyone's campaign, but why take unnecessary risks? Mr. Bush? Shape up, man. You've got the ammo, use it.